Grandparenting: On Love and Relationships Across Generations

A warm, wise and practical guide to becoming the best grandparent – and parent – you can be.

‘Grandparenting is a long-awaited, well-informed, personal and well-researched insight into what it means to be a grandparent. Terri Apter is brilliant, warm, human, and wise… A wonderful book’

Julia Samuel, author of Every Family Has a Story

‘Why does my daughter rebuff my advice?’
‘Why was my dad never this patient with me?’
‘I didn’t expect to feel all this.’

The birth of a grandchild is a cause for celebration. But when a child becomes a parent themselves, existing family structures are radically altered. Old tensions between parents and their adult children may come into sharp relief, while new relationships with in-laws must be navigated carefully. And at the heart of two families is a small person, whose life will benefit hugely from the love of their grandparents.

In this warm, wise guide to being a modern grandparent, leading psychologist Terri Apter builds on cutting-edge research as well as her own experience as a grandparent. Drawing on case studies from across the world, Apter examines the crucial and changing role that grandparents play in our society, from those grandparents who find themselves caring for a grandchild, to how to support a grandchild through their parents’ divorce. This innovative book is for grandparents and for their adult children as they reimagine their relationships with each other, and become the best parents – and grandparents – that they can be.

‘Wise, deep, illuminating and so compassionate – for mothers, daughters, children, everyone who makes a family. I’ve recommended it to many friends, both mums of young children, like myself, who are trying to understand their shifting relationships, and friends who are now at the grandmothering stage. I know it’s a book I’ll return to as time passes’

Liz Berry, author of The Republic of Motherhood

 

‘In tones of good humour and rare sanity, Grandparenting seamlessly weaves together sage practical counsel, granular observation of intergenerational relationships and relevant context from psychology, neurology and anthropology. An invaluable resource for grandparents and parents alike’

Josh Cohen, author of All the Rage

 

‘A magnificent book, written by one of the most impressive experts on family psychology, Dr Terri Apter has created a highly readable and deeply honest investigation of the joys, the burdens, and the complexities of becoming a grandmother or grandfather. A work of deep emotional sensitivity, Apter has helped us to understand the true complexities of interactions among three intimate generations: babies, parents, and grandparents’

Professor Brett Kahr, Senior Fellow at the Tavistock Institute of Medical Psychology, London

 

‘A thoughtful, innovative exploration of the role of grandparents, combining interviews and research against the backdrop of contemporary family life’

Leah Hazard, author of Womb